Relationships and Marriage

Adam posted about this and I felt like posting something so I figured I'd copy the subject.

I think people have a skewed idea of how I view relationships. I don't hate relationships. Other people should be in relationships. God MADE us to be relational beings. Its our nature. Relationships are good. They just don't appeal to me. I mean part of it does. Someone to talk to, someone to hold, and someone to have fun with. That stuff sounds great. But I also think it sounds pretty selfish. Other parts don't sound good. Commitment, trying to impress her parents, constant communication (I like my alone time and by alone time I mean a couple hours a day and a few weekends haha), and in all honesty the toll it would take on my wallet. Then there are reasons I don't feel like I should date. I'm afraid of commitment, I'm not very encouraging, I've got tons of spiritual questions I'm trying to work out, and I'm selfish.

Marriage is also something that RIGHT NOW doesn't appeal to me. And by right now I don't mean that I don't want to get married right now, of course I don't. I mean it doesn't sound good in the future. But in reality that'll probably change. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 Paul talks about how if we can abstain from getting married that that would be awesome. He says though that if you lust you should get married. He then goes on to say that it is a gift of God that he doesn't need to get married essentially saying it is a gift not to lust. I'll be honest, I lust. So do most people. Because of this I think I'll have to get married but do I really want to get married because I feel like I have to? I don't know! I guess it comes down to this, if God inspires me to love then I will get married. If not, oh well.

So ya. Those are my thoughts on relationships and marriage. Over the years they will probably change and who knows what will happen!

Here's a Question

So I have a question that I was wondering if you guys could answer. (I know there is probably like three of you but I'm putting this up here on the off chance I actually have a multitude of readers.) Anyways...

God forgives us when we ask Him. It says that in the Bible. While I don't understand why He loves me I know that He does so it makes sense to me that He would forgive me. But how do I forgive myself? I am hard on myself and hold onto things so I need some help with this. I would love to hear your thoughts!