This week I went to a camp called Wayumi in Jersey Shore, PA. This place is focused on informing people about tribal missions and of course increasing their relationship with God. Although it was hard to focus on those two things sometimes, I learned a lot on this trip.
There were many obstacles put in the way of growing in my relationship with Christ. On Tuesday I was sick. I didn't throw up but... well you can probably guess. And then when I was getting better on Wednesday I got the pleasure of listening to a kid throw up four times while I was trying to sleep. So on Thursday I was back to feeling sick and that pretty much lasted until I got home. Other obstacles included that I could only sleep on a hammock (other than one night when they let me sleep on a mattress because I was feeling well), long car rides with kids throwing up, 53-59 degree temperatures when trying to sleep, spiders all over the place, and of course the trials of just being with 27 other people for a week. So this was all bad and it was especially bad because I am afraid of throwing up and I hate hearing people throw up, which I was able to hear a total of 7 times. By the end of the trip about 7 people had gotten sick in some way during the trip and now after the trip more people are getting sick. But looking back, it was all worth it.
At Wayumi I learned how hard my heart is to God's plan for my future. I have always been scared of the future because of uncertainty but yet at the same time I won't let God reveal my future to me because I'm afraid it might be something I don't want. But since when has life been about me? Its not. God has done so much for me and will do so much for me on Earth and Heaven. The least I can do is sacrifice my small Earthly life.God may want me to have a normal job and be a missionary there. Or God may want me to be a missionary in Germany. Or in some tribal area. Or maybe I'll travel somewhere and get martyred right off the bat. Am I willing? Am I willing to give up everything including my life for God? I'm going to be spending a lot of time working on my heart with God so I can truthfully say "yes".
Another awesome thing that happened was that the whole week our lessons in the evening were on Jonah. My first blog I talked about how much I was like Jonah and then I go to a camp and the theme is "Don't be like Jonah". Now I already knew to not be like Jonah but obviously this is an area in my life that God is really trying to tell me something. And I believe He is saying just be open. I heard a really cool quote there that had to do with being open it went like this:
"Most people prepare for a normal life and say they are willing to go to the mission field. You should prepare for the missions field and say that you are willing to have a normal life"
I want my mind to be focused on preaching the Gospel. Especially after hearing the statistics about languages. There are over 2000 languages that don't have a single verse of the Bible translated into it. That is a lot of people. Thankfully there are 2000 languages that are being worked on right now. So if there are 2000 being worked on by the generation above me that means that my generation could finish it! The Bible says that one day there will be people from EVERY ethnic group in Heaven. Do you know what that means? If you go to an unreached people group the chances of you leading someone to Christ are insanely high. You might not and someone else will come after you but at least you laid the ground work.
Anyways, I hope you understood some of that, I was kind of just throwing whatever thought came to mind down on this page. All in all, Wayumi was awesome because it taught me to be open and to not worry about the future. God already knows what He has for me. And He knows what He has for you too.
This blog is going to be dedicated to expressing what I am thinking. It could be thoughts about God, life, ideas, issues... anything really. It is also dedicated to special moments and people in my life. Enjoy!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Perfectionism: A Two-Sided Extremist
In this past week I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that I am a two-sided extremist when it comes to perfectionism. Now whether the phrase “two-sided extremist” is indeed actually phrase, I am not sure. But I do know I am one. Essentially, I strive to be perfect at some things and have completely given up on others.
The reason I have realized this recently is grades at the end of the school year. Going into high school my goal was to never get anything lower than an A. English and Biology soon destroyed that goal by me getting A-‘s . I was extremely disappointed which is quite pitiful if you ask me. Many people would be begging to get A-‘s in school. Soon I got over the A- thing and went into my sophomore year expecting to never get a B of any sort. But Algebra II happened. I got a C on the final and a B+ for the semester. I was furious at myself. But why!? That’s so stupid of me. I can’t be perfect and many people again would be extremely elated to have a B+ in that class. I was disappointed that my GPA dropped too… from a 4.45 to a 4.33… again pitiful that I was disappointed. A 4.33 is an A+ average grade. So my perfectionism went so far as to be disappointed by being perfect rather than better than perfect! Obviously something in my life needs to change. My verse for this year has been “I am the true vine you are the branches, apart from me you can do nothing”. Although that was my verse, I obviously have never taken it to heart. Everything I have is given to me through Christ and who am I to be disappointed with the blessings I have?
My other side of extremism is most evident in little areas of my life such as not working out, not eating healthy, and not practicing music. But I have let this attitude slip into my spiritual life. I have found out recently that I am like Jonah. No I haven’t been eaten by giant fish. No I have led whole cities to Christ. No I haven’t waited for God to destroy a city that just began calling on the name of the lord. But I have turned away from God’s calling many many many times. In 8th grade we just got finished with a discussion in English class in which I used many Christian ideas in my debate and a girl asked me why I believed what I believed… I responded that it’s complicated. That summer I had the opportunity to go to Indianapolis for a mission trip. Having done really bad at leading games the previous year in New York, I declined. This summer I went to Jamaica on a missions trip… after having refused to go twice when my youth pastor asked me. This week I was asked to teach about preaching the Gospel, I planned on telling my youth pastor I wouldn’t do it, but God said I should. So throughout my life it is evident that I have given up on being effective for God… but I pray that I will do that no longer. Now I hope to gear my whole life on saying “yes” to God. Yes to a mission trip. Yes to witnessing to kid at school. Yes to teaching those that are already saved. It’s time to start giving up and start giving it all to God.
I guess the general truth I have learned from this is that there is nothing wrong with doing my best, in fact I should be doing my best in all things, but there is something wrong with being angry about the results the Lord has given me. Especially when they are still good. As my first real blog this was probably pretty boring but I hope to get better (although it’ll never be perfect haha) and hopefully what I have said may help you if you are struggling with the same thing.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Just Getting Started
Well this is my first blog ever. In all honesty I have never even read a blog before but the idea appeals to me and on of my friends, Grace, is about to start one. I don't know exactly what kind of stuff is normally posted on blogs but I think I am mainly going to use it to express what I am thinking and highlighting important moments in my life. For example, my bro graduated today!!! Partly awesome and partly sad. We have a great friendship and it is going to be sad when he leaves for college. Anyways, I am justing getting started so just bear with me here. I'm not exactly sure who I am even talking to. I don't think anyone is really going to read this lol.
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