Grace: My Big Sister

Yes I know, its a bit weird to call her my big sister considering certain circumstances but I think that's what our friendship closest resembles.

Anyways, one of the ways she resembles a sister is that she has always been there for me whether is was girl troubles, friendship issues, school complaints, or spiritual struggles. She has always listened and given me good advice or conversed with me about the spiritual things that confused me. Grace has never denied to help me. And for that I am very grateful.

One thing I've learned from Grace is that I should let God's will for me more important than I want to do. The summer before her senior year her dad got a job at CMDA requiring them to move to Tennessee. Not exactly what anyone would want for their senior year. But Grace knew that that is what God had for them and so she tried to make the best of it by going to camps, missions trips, and joining school clubs and whatnot. I wouldn't have done anything of the sorts if I were her. I would have pretty much just sat and waited for college quite honestly. But Grace didn't and I learned a lot from her. Especially about the future. I like things going the way I want them to. If I had a choice I would live a normal life my whole life and retire early. But the way Grace responded to God's call to their family showed me that I should be willing to change my plans. I should be willing to go wherever God calls me to go.

Much like Adam's blog I could go on and say a lot more things about Grace, for example, the fact that for some reason she is still me and Adam's friend although we tease her relentlessly. But that would take up a lot of time and space and you guys would get bored I assume. So I'm going to end this simply by saying, thanks. Thanks Grace for all you've helped me through and all you've taught me!

The Voice of God

I've been thinking about the voice of God a lot. What it must be like and stuff like that. And I've come to the conclusion that I can't wait to hear it in Heaven!

When God talked to Moses on the mountain it was described as sounding like thunder. Thunder. One of the most powerful things in nature in my opinion. A sheer noise that shakes your house. A noise that rolls out of the sky. A noise that causes many people to be afraid. But one day I looked out during the storm looking for funnel clouds with my mom and I couldn't help but smile because I remembered how the voice of God was described. Its going to be much more awesome than thunder and much more scary too. Full of power. I can't wait.

At the mountain a man came up to Moses and said, "Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die"....awesome. It wasn't a doubt in their mind. They knew they would die. I can't imagine the power of his voice if they were sure they were going to die. I WANT TO HEAR THIS VOICE!!!

But for the meantime, being our life on this Earth, God talks to us in different ways, although I guess He could literally talk to me if He wanted to. I've been searching for these ways. I've been wanting direct guidance from God for a long time and at Wayumi I took a walk and prayed asking Him to communicate with me somehow. I asked Him to talk to me and tell me what He wanted me to do. That night I spoke with Lisa (I think I talked about this in another blog actually but oh well) and she really encouraged me. I learned that God can talk through people. And what I learned from her is that I need to wait. Be patient. The Lord will reveal to me what He has for me in His own time. Honestly, I didn't like that. I still don't. But I need to. I need to be content with His timing no matter how anxious I get waiting. I'm getting a bit off topic but basically God can talk through friends.

God can also talk to you through conviction. Through the Holy Spirit telling you what your doing is wrong. That a change needs to be made.

And lastly, (by lastly I mean this is my last discovered way of Him talking not the last way He talks to us. There are many other ways He talks to us I'm sure) He talks to us through His Word. I've had a hard time letting the Word grip my heart recently... but I'm trying to let it do so again because I know God wants to talk to me through that.

Adam Pittman: A True Friend

In the top of my page I said I would dedicate my blogs to people every once in a while so I'm going to start with my good friend Adam.

When I met Adam I honestly thought he was annoying. I think I've told him that before, if not, sorry but its true. haha! But as I got to know him more I found that he wasn't annoying but that he was really cool. And then after the death of his father we became best friends. The way he responded to his father's death has always impressed me. At the time I gained no lesson from it but now that I look back I see how awesome it truly was. Rather than be angry and succumb to depression, Adam let this obstacle in life be a tool to make him grow in his relationship with God. I only realized this after I had a bit of an obstacle in my own life. And now I truly look up to him as an example.

Another great thing about him is loyalty. In the latter half of 7th grade and all of 8th grade, I was as annoying as a junior high kid could be. I was a jerk to Adam a lot of the times and was caught up in my own life. He warned me about the paths I was on but I didn't pay attention. Honestly I'm not sure why he didn't stop being my friend right there. As it turned out he was right and I ended up in a place I didn't want to be. But rather than make things worse for me by defriending me, he helped me rebuild my relationship with God. He remained my friend. And for that I am truly grateful.

There are many other things that I could say about Adam and our friendship but it would be far too much to keep your interest and its also getting late. So that will suffice for now. Thanks Adam!

P.S. Brianna don't you dare say anything about bromance lol

An Important Realization

In the past couple weeks I have come to a slightly depressing and slightly happying (is that a word?) realization... I will at some point need to get married. As many of you know and by many I mean all sense only four of you follow my blog and probably only two of you read it, I am very cynical about relationships due to an... interestingly bad first relationship. And although that hasn't completely changed, it has a little bit.

After being bitter about that relationship I lived off of the words spoken by Paul in the Bible about marriage. He said that if you can keep from lust don't marry because relationships can hinder your relationship with God (which is just one bad thing (and the most bad thing) about my first relationship). Although this may be the way of some people, I have found that most likely this is not going to the way for me. Recently I have spent a lot of time alone in the house and I have found that I can't perform necessary tasks such as feeding myself very well. I also don't know how to wash clothes or use a dishwasher. Because of this, I will need a woman.

Another thing that held me back from wanting to get married is the fact that I might get bored with her. Yes, I know. That sounds terrible. That's because it is and that's why I was scared of it happening. I don't want to get married to someone and then lose my love for them. I was scared that I would make the wrong choice. But now I realize that if I trust God about this (I'm talking about the future here, just in case you thought I meant now. Although you should trust God about everything now too.) then God will lead me to someone that I won't lose my love for. Someone who will aid in my walk with God, and someone who will make me food since I am foodly challenged... Not that I won't help.

Now who knows, I may never get married. So I guess more or less I learned that I have to be open to it. I might become a missionary and never even really think about marriage. Or I may get married and still become a missionary. Or I may remain single and get a normal job. Or... I think you get the point. But basically I need to get off my bitter bus. One failed relationship doesn't mean I can't start another one. And just because commitment scares the living bajeebers out of me doesn't I mean I can't commit.

Lastly, I need to stop feeling like I am not worthy of any woman. In my first relationship I did some things I'm not proud of and I'm glad that I got out of the relationship when I did before it became something worse. But just because I did some stupid stuff doesn't mean I can't marry someone. The past is past. But now and in the future I hope to trust God in all things, and specifically in the area of marriage.

P.S. I did not mean to say that when the Bible says that if you can keep from lust don't marry because relationships can hinder your relationship with God, it was wrong, I just mean that I was so set on not getting married because of this I wan't open to the thought of getting married which God may actually want me to do.