My Girl

I promised Brianna I would write a blogpost about her. But whether I promised or not she deserves one.Before we started dating she was one of my most helpful friends. I could be completely honest with her, go through all of my stupid thought processes, and basically tell her anything without worrying about her judging me. As a matter of fact, the more honest I was the more she wanted to help. She was also honest with me showing a trust that I hadn't seen in too many people. We quickly became very good friends and even "soulmates" haha. That's a story in itself. But anyways I started liking her around January I think but I was still too afraid to date so I kept it hidden until about two weeks before prom. Which prom was a big step for me. I said I would never go to a dance because I didn't know how to dance and I didn't like parties. But I wanted Brianna to go to prom and I thought she was worth being a little uncomfortable for. So I went and I had a really good time. She is a lot of fun and I found out that I actually like slow dancing. Prom also made me really want to be more than just friends with her. But I was still scared so I stalled.

Until May 31 when I asked her out in the most nervous and uncute way possible haha. Tip for guys: don't ask a girl out sitting down, it's hard to initiate a hug like that lol. Anyways, that was a great day. She is so nice, caring, considerate, beautiful, honest, real, and God loving girl I know. She thinks she is lucky to have me for some reason but I know it's the other way around. She does so much for me. She makes me feel special, feel loved, feel happy, and feel important. Brianna has helped me get over my fear of dancing, dating, hugging, and has helped me with my fear of the future. She has changed me in a lot of ways.

Let me tell you something really cool she told me one time. I have a lot of issues in my walk with God. I don't know how to listen to God, I am always trying to figure out what He wants me to do, I pray without hope or expectation, I think too much and feel too little, I try to figure out God, the lost goes on. We were talking one time and I was talking about how I don't know what God wants from me. How I don't kow what it means to surrender yourself. I was spending a lot of time thinking about it and trying to figure it out. What do I need to do to make God happy? What do I do to surrender myself? And then she said the most beautiful, simple, and brilliant thing I have heard in a long time:

Samuel, Christ wants your love.

God was trying to slow me down, trying to get me to stop thinking so much and stop me from trying to earn his love and affection. He was just waiting for me to love Him. Once I love Him then I will be surrendering myself to Him. Once I love Him I will know what He wants. Once I love Him I will hear Him. It is when you know people the most that you start understanding them. It is not much different with God. For those 5 words and for so much more I thank God in my prayers for Brianna. She is so great.

So anyways back to Brianna. She is incredibly smart. Like ridiculously smart. And her smile is one of my favorite things in the world. It's genuine and happy and beautiful. It's great. She is great. I'm so happy to be with her :)